Q&A: Sex Positions for Vulva-Owners

Each week, The CSPH answers questions that have been submitted anonymously through Formspring. This week’s question is: What is the best sexual position for a [vulva-owner] to orgasm?

I want to start off by saying that there is no single best sexual position that enables vulva-owners to orgasm– no matter what Cosmo tells you. Although different positions will allow certain areas of the genitals to be stimulated, namely the anterior vaginal wall and clitoris, everyone is stimulated by different things. Furthermore, incorporating and increasing the amount of time one engages in sexual activity aside from penis-in-vagina sex—such as oral sex and manual stimulation—are also conducive to orgasm. It is also incredibly helpful for one to have a positive genital self-image, which may be correlated with ease of orgasm. That said, I do have a few recommendations as to sexual positions that may help facilitate orgasm. Note: these positions require a vulva-owner as well as a cock, usually one attached to the pelvis.

The first position is colloquially known as the “cowgirl,” which is when the vulva-owner is on top, straddling the cock-owner’s pelvis while the cock-owner is either lying on their back or sitting up. This position is ideal because it allows the vulva-owner to control the depth, speed, and angle of penetration. Variations of this position include the vulva-owner on their knees, on their feet, leaning back, and even backwards. When the vulva-owner leans back, they’re able to apply further pressure to their anterior vaginal wall—where the G-Zone (aka. G-Spot) is located—with the cock. Also, shallow thrusts allow the vulva-owner to grind their mons pubis against the body of the person with a cock, stimulating both the external and internal clitoris. Vibrating cockrings are also specifically useful in this position. However, it may take some practice to learn how one is best stimulated in this position. Due to this, if you are a vagina-owner, I recommend buying a dildo made with body-safe materials, enabling you to experiment on your own how to pleasure yourself with a cock.

The second position is a twist on missionary, where the cock-owner is leaning back on their haunches (knees and butt on the bed/floor) as opposed to hovering over the person being penetrated. This position allows the cock to stimulate the anterior vaginal wall, and is ideal for stimulating the clitors either manually or by incorporating small vibrators, such as those found on the Good Vibrations website, due to greater space availability for navigating and positioning the vibrator. A variation of this position is for the vulva-owner to plant their feet on the bed/floor and for both partners to lift their pelvises up, allowing for more freedom of movement, where the vulva-owner is able to thrust back against the cock. In this position, you can also experiment with leg positioning; for example, spreading one’s legs wider or lifting them up may allow for deeper penetration.

The third position I recommend is old reliable “doggy-style,” which is when the vulva-owner is on their hands and knees being penetrated from behind. This position is ideal for those who enjoy deep penetration; however, those whose partners have long cocks may find their cervix bumped in this position, which is a sensation that some enjoy while others find it extremely painful. Similar positions entail the vulva-owner with their butt up and face down, with the vulva-owner lying on their stomach with their legs spread or pressed together, or during spooning with the cock-owner serving as the “big spoon.” When one’s legs are pressed together, this narrows the vaginal canal, allowing for “tighter” penetration, which might be desired for more friction during sex.

While not a sexual position per se, my last recommendation is to not forget that sexual aids do exist. Sex toys such as vibrators and dildos can be a great addition to partnered sexual play, as can “kinkier” wares such as paddles, bondage cuffs, and ball-gags, all of which serve to create a certain mood for sexual activity. Furthermore, if you find that certain positions are less than ideal due to height differences, disability, or exhaustion, vulva-owners might find use in incorporating pillows or rolled up towels into their sex positions. For example, during missionary, a pillow beneath the butt or lower back will lift the angle of the vulva. Also, during doggy-style, a pillow at one’s lower stomach allows the vulva-owner to rest while also tilting the butt up. If you’d like something sturdier than pillows, there are “sex cushions” and “sex furniture” such as those made by Liberator, to aid in sexual positioning. Lastly, you can also take advantage of your surroundings and incorporate moving beyond just a bed– couches, tables, countertops, and other furniture are great resources to aid in sexual positioning.

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